Carlo and I were working in the auction gallery when this profoundly confused woman entered. She approached my brother and said to him, “Do you sell stuff here or…” He waited for her to finish her question, but nothing more was offered. Carlo nodded, “Well, yeah. That’s what we do here. We sell stuff at auction.” The conversation continued for about another minute and accomplished nothing. The woman left, and Carlo returned to his tasks with a cry of, “Or… WHAT?”
Funny Phone Calls
My father, my brother, and I were having a bit of a chinwag when the phone rang. I–being nearest–answered with my normal chipper inflection, “Savo Auctioneers.”
“Yes,” came a man’s voice over the receiver, “I see that you’re selling some guns in your next auction. I’m wondering if you have any Springfield trap doors.”
Three-Wheeled Bicycles
Often my states of mind aren’t served up neat. My moods are usually cocktails consisting of curious combos that can be the dangerous and intoxicating intellectual equivalent of Jaeger and Red Bull. Indeed, as I write this very blog post, I find myself feeling both facetious and magnanimous. Hence the following list of heterogeneous statements will seem comically sarcastic to some, while others will view them as small epiphanies. Yes, I offer the following tidbits with the intention of making most of you laugh, but note that they also serve the need to set the record straight with certain misinformed individuals.
Boxlot Post No. 1
So what exactly is a boxlot? Well, every estate has piles of tchotchkes that aren’t necessarily garbage, but that aren’t good enough to stand on their own. Individually, these bric-a-brac are worth $10 and less. Trying to sell each of these things individually during an auction is boring and inefficient. However, these items still have value, and as auctioneers, we are obligated to produce every dollar we can for our consignors. So we make boxlots: literally cardboard boxes loaded with miscellaneous items that are sold together for one price. Boxlots are a win-win situation. The consignors get the value out of usable items that may have been otherwise disregarded, and the bidders get the opportunity to buy those items in an efficient way.
Peculiar Piano Placement
So I was watching an episode of Band of Brothers on HBO in which the brave soldiers of Easy Company were storming a town in Normandy. While they were scrambling for cover from Nazi machine gun fire, they ran past an upright piano that happened to be sitting in the middle of the street. No one was playing it, no one was lying dead beside it, and it appeared to be undamaged. Had it just been abandoned during a desperate attempt by some French pianist to escape with it from the firefight? Really… What the hell was that piano doing in the middle of the street? Then I realized that such peculiar piano placement should neither bewilder nor amaze me, for I have personally seen equivalent ridiculousness within many estates.
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