Sometimes in my adventures I am privy to a situation where someone has passed away and the surviving relatives encircle the estate of the deceased like ravenous buzzards. Right away, sister fights sister, brother battles brother, cousin assaults cousin. Each tries to outsmart the others to get the biggest piece of the pie, or indeed, escape with the whole thing, pan and all.
Tremendous Squirrels
It was midsummer, 2001. I, my father, and my youngest brother Joseph (who was working with us at the time) embarked upon an estate pickup to West Side Scranton where we were greeted by three, better-than-middle-aged sisters. Though the youngest of these women is now a fuzzy memory, the middle and the eldest sisters stick out in my mind.
Overt Bidding Techniques
As discussed previously, certain auction goers feel the need to employ stealthy bidding techniques so as not to be shadowed by rookies or bid against out of spite. Conversely, there are certain auction goers that use overt bidding techniques that are designed to intimidate their competition. Since these aggressive bidders can’t actually claim the items that they desire by urinating on them, they bid in ways that are meant to tell others to back off.
Befuddled by a Dressing Table
I was alone in the gallery, setting up for an approaching auction, when two women (I’ll call them Dense and Denser) walked in to have a look. Dense and Denser perused the inventory, making squealing quips and clucks. I gave them a few minutes to walk around before greeting them and asking if I could be of any assistance.
Baboons with Hammers
When I look upon the magnificence of the Empire State Building or the majesty of the Nicholson Bridge, I wonder how the generation that created such wonders in the first part of the 20th century could also create some of the dumbest, most asinine, chop-busting houses ever made. I become bewildered at how an American society with such architectural visionaries could allow some of their contemporaries–mere baboons with hammers–to construct familial living quarters with five-foot high basements, 22-inch doorways, and six-foot tall bedrooms with 20-inch square cutouts in their cranium crunching ceilings as the means to enter the “attic.”
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