As discussed previously, certain auction goers feel the need to employ stealthy bidding techniques so as not to be shadowed by rookies or bid against out of spite. Conversely, there are certain auction goers that use overt bidding techniques that are designed to intimidate their competition. Since these aggressive bidders can’t actually claim the items that they desire by urinating on them, they bid in ways that are meant to tell others to back off.
As an auctioneer, I have witnessed inexperienced bidders let themselves get bullied during auctions by brass veterans and their methods. However, there is no reason to ever feel intimidated by anyone or by any of these, my favorite overt bidding techniques:
- The Statue of Liberty: Much like Lady Liberty who perpetually holds aloft her arm as an unwavering beacon of hope and freedom, so do some bidders perpetually hold aloft their arms as an assertive message of determination: “You’re tired, I’m not poor, and no one else in this huddled mass is going to own that!” Don’t be fooled. Just as their reaches are not limitless, neither are their budgets.
- The Stare-Down: Instead of maintaining eye contact with the auctioneer, stare-down bidders glare domineeringly at those who are bidding against them. Their are several fun ways to combat this method.
- Pull out a pocket watch, wave it in the direction of the person who is staring at you and call out, “You’re getting sleepy… sleepy… sleepy…”
- Block the view the starer has of you with a mirror.
- Stare back making funny faces.
- Wave your hand like a Jedi and say, “These aren’t the items you’re looking for.”
- The Swat: One might think that these bidders were being attacked by invisible bats, or that they’re delirious on Absinthe and are trying to smack away the Green Fairy. Indeed, swatters are just trying to let you know that they really want whatever is on the block and that the harder they swing their arms, the more they’re willing to pay. Have a little fun. Walk up to a swatter and say, “You can’t catch the pretty lights. You can only watch them.”
- The Conversation: Sometimes gestures just aren’t enough. Some bidders assert themselves within a crowd by engaging a chanting auctioneer via loud dialogue. Conversationalist bidders make advancements by bellowing such phrases as “Sure” or “Why not?” or “What the hell?” Want to show that you’re not intimidated by this technique? Just yell out, “I don’t think so!” Then stare and swat like you’re being attacked by killer bees.
- The Preemptive Put Down: This one is a bit more sophisticated than the others and requires implementation before the auction begins. A user of the preemptive put down lingers behind other attendees during the inspection period and pesters his/her potential competition by saying something like, “Don’t even bother to look at that, because I’m going to own it.” There are two ways to handle this attempt at intimidation. You can either ignore it, or when you’re told not to bother, lick whatever you’re looking at, much like you would lick the last Oreo Cookie so no one else will want to eat it.
All joking aside, there’s no reason to be intimidated by anyone during an auction. Preparation is the key to bidding. Be sure to attend an auction’s preview, thoroughly inspect the merchandise, and determine how much you’re willing to pay for the items that you want before the bidding starts. No matter what overt techniques aggressive bidders might use, they too have spending limits. Letting yourself get flustered will only lead to mistakes. You could find yourself spending more than you want or backing off too soon. Knowing what you want and how much you want to pay for it will make your auction experience more enjoyable and free of regret.
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Whenever I have a new bidder ask what they’re supposed to do, I usually offer the Statue of Liberty technique as the best way to avoid having your bid missed. It sure makes it easier for the auctioneer! LOL
i love the statue of liberty… my personal favorite.
Well let’s see. That’s two votes for the Statue of Liberty…
I had one bidder that for years would tell me before the auction what he wanted to bid on so when selling the item he would be at a 90 degree to the auctioneer. As he bid he would touch his belt buckle to bid never looking in the direction of the auctioneer. I have a female auctioneer working with us and when she first saw this she stopped and asked him if he was bidding or just tryin’ to pick her up. He never used this form of bidding again!
That’s fantastic.
John,
You forgot about the bidder who puts down the object being sold before the auction. As in “That’s a repop!” or my personal favorite “Nobody buys that junk anymore!” Then he’s the one bidding like a madman.
I didn’t forget about those bidders. I just planned on dedicating a future post to that technique alone.
Have you ever seen people burst into tears when they lose? Or throw a fit?
I suppose the thing about the licking method, although probably highly effective, would require that your enemy see you do it. Otherwise it’s like going to a restaurant where you’ve no idea what’s been done to the food before it’s placed in front of you.
Oh, yes. I have seen tears, red-faced anger, and fits.
John, we also have many fellow dealers who attempt to eliminate the bidding competition prior to the auction using a similar technique to the one Jason mentioned. They trash talk other auction houses by telling various lies. It always starts something like, “Have you been to so-and-so’s lately?” It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no as they have their canned response all ready for either; and it doesn’t matter which auction you are at – they will trash another one. If your answer is “no”, then it’s something like, “Well, they are selling tons of repros from China, and they have nothing but junk and people are bidding ridiculous amounts of money for it so don’t even bother going.” Or my personal favorite, “That auction is so busy since they started on AuctionZIP that you can’t even park the car, and then when you do, you can’t find a seat and everybody was paying ridiculous money for junk, so don’t waste your gas money going there.” It’s all based on the stupid assumption that you are a total dumb ass who believes their bullshit for some unknown reason. I have found it best to let them ponder why I keep showing up at these same auctions, waving “hi” to them when I see them sitting there.
Yes, I hear these conversations sometimes. And you’re right: The perpetrators think that the people they are talking to are dumb asses. Of course, no one ever has to worry about finding a seat at my auction, as I don’t put down chairs.
ok, john, you must think i’m a real rube. but i would never lick an item another bidder has peed on. or bid on it. they can have it, those bee-waving fanatics.
one day i’ll have to come to one of your auctions. they sounds better and more fun than television!
and i’ll wear a big hat, so you won’t miss my bid for the cigar box (swisher sweets!) full of dried acrylic paint tubes.
Make sure that hat has a big feather in it, too.
i love that you are auctioning off cannons. what a wonderful country we live in.
God bless America.
Gr8 article
i myself am the STRONG Slient type lol
it must be fun to go to auctioneer school. i bet you can cram a whole semester into a week or two just from talking fast.
but but but… dating another auctioneer in college must be an interesting experience:
doyouwanttogotoamovie? sold!
wannacometomyroomandlookatmyoldmoldyboxesofotherpeople’sstuff? sold!
careforsomewine? sold!
wannahavesex? doihearahigherbid?goingonce…
Very good… But… While I did go to college, my degree is in Public Speaking and Theatre… To get my auction license, I served a two-year apprenticeship and then passed a state exam.
Looking forward to licking a few items at the Jan 7th taxidermy. Will there be beaver??
public speaking and theatre sound like great doorways to auctioneering. you have a great wit with words too. i understand– a little– why you are so successful at it.
i love reading about your business on your blog. it’s interesting, hearing what a lifetime of stuff is worth.
a friend of mine– i worked with her husband before he retired and died– recently moved into an assisted living facility. i guess that’s what they are called, it’s really a luxury apartment complex with daily meals and activities. she gave her “important” things to her children and grandchildren: her photos, her car, her favorite dolls, etc.
everything else was sold at an estate auction. they unlocked the door, ran an ad in the paper and people came to the house and bought whatever they wanted. she was very pleased to get $8,000. mind you, she lived in that house for 50 years. that’s only $150 per year’s worth of accumulated stuff, including antiques.
i spend more than that each year on music cds.
maybe this is the year i’ll donate those music cassettes i don’t play anymore to charity.
Yeah, it can be a bit surprising when you break down the value of an estate as you did. The reality is that most estates contain $5,000 or less in chattel property.